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Comments
I was kind of wondering who would be the first to inject Zutara into the franchise, and how, even if it's remotely. You have actually found a somewhat subtle way to do it, even though it's not really Zutara (going by your own words).
It's a nice setup, and the use of the chakra-based clues is actually pretty clever. The dialogue was quite snappy, even though I would've worded some parts differently.
The story seems to be consistent with the comic, except this story makes it seem like Katara and Zuko have met each other on several occasions, while Katara spends most of her time in the Water Tribe Federation (although I must admit, this was never explicitly stated in the comic or the discussion thread).
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The Artrix Commission Service, yes, I do commissions.
If you'd like to suggest more specific dialogue changes, it would be most appreciated.
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Zutara: Because in the avatar world, pigs do fly.
I guess I was referring to the part where Zuko is suggesting for Katara to stay at his place. It seems as if Katara knows exactly what to say. You could've played with a small hesitation or a small stumble in her speech. What I'm trying to say is that the conversation seems too smooth.
Not being a full-time writer myself, I can't really add any other insightful criticism. I tend to compare myself to Gabe from Penny Arcade, good with the visual arts but lacking when it comes to the literary arts.
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The Artrix Commission Service, yes, I do commissions.
and penny arcade.
^^
anyways, I think i know what you mean. When i get around to updating/editing i'll try a new approach. thanks.
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Zutara: Because in the avatar world, pigs do fly.
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